You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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