I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
