Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
