Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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