Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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