whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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