those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
