I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
