He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
