Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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