do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
