Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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