I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
