ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
