i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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