I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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