you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
