I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
