After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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