How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
