Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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