I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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