Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
