He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
