Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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