i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
