All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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