good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
