doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
