kristin has been a bad kristin
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
