so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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