Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
