Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
