Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
