drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
