She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
