two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
