operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
