You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
