okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
