Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
