i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
