He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
