Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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