i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she smelled like a LAN party
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
