Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
