So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
