i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
