I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
