hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
