she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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