Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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